Thank you to everyone who read my long, personal post. And for the comments and love you sent. This social media / blogging world is a strange one, isn't it? Where you can chose to either paint a picture of perfection or invite strangers into your struggles. I hope to do the latter and never cause anyone to believe I lead a perfect life.
Because I don't.
And my Part I post should be an indicator of that. What I wanted to expand on, if you'll let me, is the after part. The part that is good. Not perfect. But good. Because there is goodness to this life. God-filled goodness. And it was through God's great faithfulness that I was able to survive such imperfection and ugliness of my disorders.
Yes. God's faithfulness is good. So, so good. Through every beaten down step, I cried out to him. Pleading for him to remove this "thorn in my side." To just make it disappear. Because he can. He could. But instead? He chose to show me his faithfulness through the pain. And that was the greatest gift he could have given me. Because now, when I'm hurting, he gently reminds me of the greatest struggle so far in my life. How he was there. Holding me. Never leaving me.
Today, I still struggle with anxiety and OCD. I don't think it'll ever go away. But God has helped empower me with the knowledge I need to live with them. He gave me my therapist to free me. He gave me my husband to love me. And he gave me his Spirit to heal me.
While Part I is full of suffering, Part II is full of rejoicing. This is why I love God. He brings beauty out of darkness. Beauty out of pain.
And? He gave me all of you. To listen. To pray. To love. I thank him for YOU.