I'm not gonna lie. I love working for myself. The flexibility that comes with self-employment is my jam. I can schedule my hours around my husband's; I can work in my yoga pants; I can work at 2am and wake up at 10am. Those of you who work from home get it.
I've been hit with some depression lately. And usually when that happens, I take a step back and analyze things. Often times the depression is just there. A physical heaviness that has no reason to exist. Life can be going well and then BAM. Hello, depression.
Other times, however, there's a root to the cause. And this time, when I gave it some thought, I realized something. Self-employment can suck sometimes.
If you're anyone like me, someone who loves doing good work; loves pleasing people; loves being an excellent employee; then you might understand me when I say--I need feedback. I crave it. I've been getting by without it for a while now. True, with every freelance job I get, there's a sense of validation that comes along with it. This person must value my skills--they're paying me.
But when the freelance gigs wane, and writing your own projects take president, the feedback disappears. And you're left facing your own doubts and demons. Without the balance of outside praise, those negative voices can become overwhelming; push away any good thing you've done. Tell you it's worthless; it's stupid. No one cares.
I don't know what the solution is. Because I know I shouldn't live my life solely for the praise of my work. Gosh, no. And I know I need to develop that internal voice that'll give me the confidence I need. (#girlboss). But it's also a good thing to reflect on. It helps me know how I work best. Helps me know how to encourage other self-employed pals.
And most importantly, know how to deal better with that self-employment depression when it comes along.
Love to know how other self-employed writers / artists / etc. out there deal with this!